When I was 11 years old, puberty hit me and it hit me hard. I was a depressed, unhappy teen for reasons that don't matter right now. During this period, that lasted for sadly enough, a decade, I found comfort in a lot of things. Amongst those things, music probably was one of the most important ones. Music is always there, it doesn't judge, it's an instant comfort for many millions of people, and I was no different.
The year I became sad was the same year Eminem released 'The Marshall Mathers LP'. I did not have much money for records, but I got this one and I still know most lyrics by heart. Although it has messages which I really can't appreciate anymore, I want to stress the fact that this album was exactly what I needed. For me it felt like all my anger and fear was melted into 18 tracks, and by listening to it, I could get rid of some of it.
When I was 16, we got internet at my place. I downloaded all of his other music: 'The Eminem Show' and 'Encore', but also his older work. I liked 'Infite', his first record, the most. I wasn't too fond of 'Encore' and after that album, I kinda stopped following him.
Almost a year ago, Eminem performed at the Pukkelpop festival in Belgium. Of course, I did not miss this change to see my childhood hero perform life. The ticket sales were going very quick, it was like every citizen of Belgium wanted to see this man live. Important to know is this: Eminem was supposed to perform at this same festival twice, but it never happened. One time, he was arrested in the US and couldn't leave the country. The second time, a huge storm hit the festival in which 5 people died. The organisation decided to stop the festival after the storm. So you could say three times a charm, there were no storms or legal disputes, all of us fans were there, and we did expect a show.
I was disapointed.
First of all, Marshall let us wait for about 30 minutes. Oh he was there, he just didn't feel like going on stage. After the concert I heard some rumours about why he kept us waiting. I've heard he wanted the security personnel replaced, because the ones backstage reminded him too much of his daddy and his ex. I don't know if this is true. I did see some security guards walking onto the backstage about 5 minutes before the concert started. Anyway, I can forgive my hero for being late. But if this gossip is true, please get over it and get a life. Constantly bashing people because of what happened to you when you weren't a millionair is, well, childish.
Secondly, and I could have forseen this one, the songs he performed weren't my cup of tea. I looked up the setlist for you guys:
1. Survival
2. Won't back down
3. 3am
4. Square Dance
5. Business
6. Kill you
7. White America
8. Mosh
9. No love
10. Just don't give a fuck
11. Criminal
12. Cleanin out my closet
13. The way I am
14. Fast Lane
15. Lighters
16. Airplanes part 2
17. Stan
18. Sing for the moment
19. Like toy soldiers
20. Forever
21. Till I collapse
22. Cinderella Man
23. Love the way you lie
24. My name is
25. The real slim shady
26. Without me
27. Not afraid
28 Lose yourself
At the end of the day, he did perform some of his old songs, but I would have liked to hear some more. I understand this is pure personal preference so I won't take it out on him.
Thirdly, Marshall had a lot of fireworks, TV screens and other special effects to make his show more, I don't know, spicy? It was kind of sad to see how much he likes himself. Personally, I don't trust someone who tells me he's awesome every 2 minutes. But this was exactly what he was doing. The screens pictured him as a child, a performer, a normal man... At some moment, I was really expecting to see some pictures of Em taking a shit. We get it Marshall, you really like yourself. Nice for you.
Four: there was NO interaction with the public whatsoever. I was pretty close to the stage, lets say I was 10 meters behind it. I didn't hear him say anything personal towards the crowd. In general, he looked bored and didn't really care about the fact he was destroying his image for thousands of die-hard fans.
But lastly, the thing that really psst me of, was the fact that he playbacked the whole fucking show. I know this has been a hot topic ever since.... Did he or did he not? Believe me, I recognize a fraud when I see one. He DID. I noticed during the first song and started focussing on it, and yes, he did. So sad. Even more sad was the fact I couldn't even run from this idiot, the place was so packed you could hardly breathe.
Why would you playback a show like that? I can't and I won't forgive you for this, Marshall, never. Since that dreadful day in August, I haven't listened to one of your songs. I skip the station when your voice is on. That's what happens when you don't make any effort for your fans. I lost all respect I had for you, and I really wanted to smack that grin of your face.
I was lucky that year, because just a month back, I saw Wu Tang Clan perform at Dour festival. I can tell you this: it was by far the best concert I ever saw. Just 9 men on a stage, kicking it old school, I loved it. No stupid screens telling us how great they are, no fireworks, not even a banner. They started on time, had visible fun at the stage, interacted a LOT with the fans... It was brilliant, a great example that rap can truly be music that unites people. I couldn't stop comparing Marshall to the Wu, and guess who won? My respect for the Wu Tang Clan has become even higher after that gig. I want to thank all of you guys for a lovely evening.
After his concert tour, Marshall released 'The Marshall Mathers LP 2'. I was still angry, but I checked out some of the songs, just for old time's sake. And you know what? They SUCK. I expect more from someone calling himself a rap god. You are not a god. Right now, you are not even a rapper anymore. What rapper tours with Rihanna? The same one that playbacks his whole show. The same one that used do diss artists such as Rihanna. You are not a genuine artist, Marshall, stop trying to make people believe you are.
Luckily for you, Marshall, you will always have fans. I saw people crying during your concert. I saw people cheering for you and I heard others declaring you truly are a rap god. Frankly, it doesn't take much to be one. I don't know what could have been done to prove these fans wrong, since a bad show and playbacking didn't do the trick. But it's not my problem anymore. I still like to rant about you from time to time, but the influence you had on me during my youth is fastly fading. It just leaves me with one question: were you always a fraud? Was I always this stupid to put my trust in you? Or do you really have some talent left, but are you just too lazy and too god-like to show us? Stop being an illuminati puppet. Stop making crap music. You are rich enough as it is.
I wish you a happy life, Marshall, I really do. Unlike you, I know the past is the past. I like to move on and spend time listening to artists who are worth listening to. You clearly are not. I can't have my wasted years back, but I can chose not to listen to your garbage any more. And you know what? I'm loving it. You will never fool me twice.
Mary Jane
pissedofpenguin@gmail.com
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